CATCH-22

By Ecka

Jan.23, ordinary day?

I hope not.

A roller coaster ride full of happy and sad moments yet memorable. Despite the hardships, I am glad were still together and fighting for what was supposed to be ours. It’s just sad that now I am not able to greet you a Happy Monthsary. For some reasons, and it hurts so bad. But then, come to think of it, the days I’ve spent with you was a way more than a monthsary. Everyday I celebrate the chance of making you feel loved and wanted, despite all the hindrance. I’d rather not have a monthsary than a day without you.

I wish I could relieve the pain through crying. I wish sleeping could somehow take me places even for a while. Just so that I could run away from all the no-win situation. I even get a new hair cut, even if I love my hair so much. I tried eating but the food don’t taste that good, even drinking ain’t doing what it should. I’m a hazard to myself.

Fighting a war against the mirror somehow takes the edge off of me. I blame myself for nothing, knowing nothing at all. So fed-up with what was happening. I couldn’t understand why all of a sudden things’ has to change. Maybe I’m still hoping? Or maybe I just don’t want to let go?

Maybe then I’ll understand…

Maybe then all the hurt would mend…

Maybe then I’ll see it’s purpose…

Maybe… then…

####Catch-22 - a situation in which whatever outcome somebody desires is impossible to attain because the rules always work against it.####

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