Mi Raison d'être

By Ecka360

I do not know how to sum up my feelings. All I know is that everyday hurts like hell. I was cramming out of time, that I have to meet my deadline. I have to accept the fact that sooner or later, you’ll be gone. You’ll be leaving… And I don’t have the assurance that you’d come back. Do you know how it feels to let go when you know deep down inside, your heart is saying no? But then I have to. And it’s killing me, every inch of me.

I know how much you love me. But it hurts knowing that you have to do such things. I could feel your pain. Cuz your pain is my pain. Hush now, baby don’t cry… I will let you unnerve me for awhile. Conk out your fears to me, let me carry all the hurt inside you. You have no idea how much it gets harder each day. Every minute of everyday, every second flies by into my hands. And soon you’ll be gone, out of my life. I may not have enough reason for you stay but just let me… just let me give you reasons not to go. I need you here with me. I need you so bad…

Who’s gonna pick me up? Who’s gonna call me up at night? Who’s gonna be my date? Who’s gonna carry my bag? Who’s gonna watch movie with me? Who’s gonna text me? Who’s gonna argue with me? Who’s gonna make me laugh? Who’s gonna make me cry? Who’s gonna make me feel pretty? Who’s gonna comfort me? Who’s gonna hold my hand? Who’s gonna hug me? Kis me?... Now, who’s gonna tell me I love you back?

These are just some of the questions running inside my head. Simple questions that only I myself could answer. For I know, until now… it’s you, only You.

I miss you everyday… and I miss you even more… ;-(

As tears run down my face, everything flashed back clearly. From the very first day, up to the day when I last saw you. How much I wanted to stop the clock from ticking, just so that I could spend more time with you. How I longed for your cuddles, and sweet nothings. Damn! I miss you. I wish I could tell you how much you mean to me… but words are not enough. . I wish that you could stay but... But more than this I wish you could’ve seen my face. In a phrase to cut these lips, I love you.